I’m at home alone for the moment. Once again, I’m struck by the speed at which the mind adjusts. Once we arrived in the Saguenay and the husband left, home alone quickly became my default gear. It was having company, noise, words filling space that was the change of pace. Since Mark has been here, the aural clutter of discussion and the sharing of space has quickly become the norm again. It seems strange already to have my home be silent around me, to not have someone else puttering around making the sounds of life. Yet I know that, after Mark heads home and I get back from visiting my husband and in-laws for Canadian Thanksgiving, the quiet of solitude will quickly become the standard setting again.
Even when I am alone again here, though, life continues to grow. Lentement! (Slowly!) But it grows. I have a new friend who is from this area who is helping me work on my French. He’s also making me dread winter (a little bit) less. His face lights up when he mentions snow (he’s a snowboarder), and he promises me that winter is fun. He has even agreed to help me learn to drive in the snow. (I wish him luck, he’ll need it! I don’t think he knows about Okie drivers.) I’m happier here alone than I dared to hope I would be, when back in May, I couldn’t even entertain the thought of spending these 4 months in Quebec without the husband.
Now, this is just life. I’m doing just fine with it. I don’t mean it’s always easy. Sometimes I miss him so much that it’s nearly a physical ache. Hell, sometimes my anxiety ramps up a bit (like this morning, waiting to hear about whether he passed a big test, knowing he was anxiously waiting for his results), and it most certainly IS a physical ache. Seeing his handsome face and that evil gleam in his dancing eyes when we Skype just makes me ache even more. It’s hard being so far away from him so much of the time. Especially today, when, if we were together, we would be heading out to a fancy dinner.
Exactly two years ago, I had a new number in my phone. I was at work at the OU College of Medicine, and I’d been chatting with a Canadian Air Force officer. September 28th. That was the day he sent me his phone number. That was the day he mentioned plans to visit a club close to my home. That was the day I very casually threw out an invitation for him to stop by and have a drink with me before he went out. That was the day I set something in motion that caught me up and carried me so much farther than I could have ever foreseen. Only two short years, and yet I can’t imagine life without my best friend now.
So it’s harder sometimes. I want to just rush out to Ginny, stop to fill up her tank, and then just DRIVE. But I’ll see him soon. And life marches along. Another two months, and we’ll be eagerly looking forward to his homecoming in just a few short weeks. And I’ll have driven in snow, and perhaps I’ll have even tried snowboarding. I’ll know a bit more French, and hopefully I will be able to pronounce “porte” (door) so that people from this region can understand what I’m saying, haha. Life marches along. I like it better when the noise of the husband’s life clutters up the soundtrack of my own. But I’m a lucky girl, with some wonderful friends, old and new, and I don’t think I’d trade places with any of you. I *might* borrow your teleporter, though, if you have one handy.